After being in a very long relationship – for four, almost five years – it was very hard to readjust to life on my own again without my “other half”. I guess being with someone for so long can do that to you. You’re so used to being with them, having them around, that your world literally falls apart when you realize you’re no longer bound to them anymore.
You’re lost – at least I was when my relationship came to an end. It’s like you’re at an intersection walking on a one-way road. You can only go forward not back yet you’re hesitant to cross because the other side doesn’t look as bright and enticing now that you have to cross the street by yourself. It’s kind of funny because you know how to cross the street, how to walk, just move one leg in front of the other but it’s like your brain and your legs aren’t working. Slowly, you have to take your hands and grab each foot to pick it up from the ground and plant it forward one step at a time. Surely enough you make it across to the other side of the street, somehow but that doesn’t matter.
You’re exhilarated that you did it. You absorb the view from the other side of the street. How much closer and magnificent everything seems now that you’re across the street! You wonder what else you’re capable of. Slowly, you start exploring and wandering into unexplored territory. You discover new interests, new limits, new adventures. Worlds within worlds open up. It’s only a question of which one you want to step into.
Don’t view the end of your relationship as the end. It could be the beginning – the beginning of so many new and wonderful things. The opportunities are endless. Yes, I do yearn sometimes to be in a relationship again. To have that special someone. To be able to share your most intimate thoughts and feelings. To feel like you’re talking to someone who is you, who completely understands you. To be embraced by a man again. But I’d rather be alone and happy than in a toxic relationship for the sake of being in a relationship or for companionship.
I kind of enjoy life the way it is right now; so, Mister, unless you stumble into my life in the near future, I won’t go looking for you for a while.
“Yesterday was but today’s memory, and tomorrow is today’s dream.” – Khalil Gibran