Fairly recently, a series of events have happened in my life all related to and regarding love and relationships. I had been considering dating again and becoming involved in another relationship. I had just found out my younger sister was going to get married. I was thinking more and more about my love life and what was ahead, would I find someone, when would I find someone, where would I find this someone, etc.?
By some fortunate twist of fate, I met someone about a week ago today at a fundraising dinner. I had been invited to the dinner to speak briefly about being a participant in a program that was hosted by the organization that was holding the fundraiser. I talked a little bit about the impact the program had on me and then talked about a project I had the opportunity of doing while in the program. After the dinner was over, I was approached by his aunt who asked if I would mind taking a picture with her nephew. I took the picture and he asked me a few questions about my project then it turned into questions about what I did and ways to become involved with the organization I serve with. We exchanged contact information and started talking. Our conversation started steering away from the professional field into the more personal and there was the desire to get to know one another. Looking back now, I realized that I wrote a post about wanting to find someone to date and wondering where I would find this someone on the exact day when I met him.
He and I have been texting and chatting on Gmail non-stop since we’ve met last Thursday and have met up again in person twice already in one week. I’m really enjoying getting to know him and flirting with him. This is really different for me because I’ve never been this forward with anyone before and have never been so intentional in what I say and how I act. He is about 5 years older than I am and I’ve never dated someone who was that much older than I am but I don’t believe age should play such a large part when everything else about him is so desirable. We have a lot of things in common and have very good conversations when we are together and when we are chatting or texting. We are not officially going out yet but taking our time to really get to know one another and asking each other really great questions about the other person and what they want in the future and in life. This is really weird for me because our relationship is in this nebulous stage in that I don’t really know what will come of it or where we are headed. But I’ve decided that nebulous is good because it by not making anything “official” yet, there are no pressures to act a certain way but to just let feelings and desires play its course.
Today, a good friend of mine sent me a post about getting involved in another relationship again. The author, annamoss, lists 12 things you should look for as you start a new chapter in your life which I have posted below. I’m seeing a lot of these things things and many more in him and I’m really liking it! 🙂
12 things to look for as you take those first tentative steps toward the next chapter in your life:
- His words and actions say the same thing. His life confirms what he says he is. He walks his talk.
- He is comfortable in his own skin and you feel comfortable around him. Whatever his personal style is, it is authentic, not a mask or persona he uses for ulterior purposes.
- He is just right for you, but not too good to be true. He acknowledges his successes and failures and can tell you what he learned from them. His humility is sincere and born of learning to handle life’s slings and arrows.
- He stands for something and can tell you what it is. He has the courage of his convictions without needing to get in anybody’s face about it. He takes responsibility for his behavior and rarely blames anyone or anything else for his problems.
- He can laugh at himself. His laughter puts you at ease, there is no meanness in it. You find that laughing with him is a healing thing and does your heart good.
- He respects your privacy and honors your confidences. He has not pressured you to do anything, nor tried to use your secrets against you. He wants to get to know you. He is able and willing to reveal himself to you without rush. He doesn’t bargain with you for more than you want to give or reveal.
- He is passionate but not overly obsessed about things. He can be driven without being dangerous, forceful without being brutal, firm without being cruel. He shows you the best things about masculine authority and strength, not the worst.
- He can disagree with you without demeaning or threatening you. You feel safe enough to express your feelings and opinions without fear of retribution. You find with him that disagreements can be handled constructively so that remedial energies flow. You can disagree and dispute and grow closer because the communication is honest and honorable.
- He knows how to take care of himself, he wants to take care of you. He knows how to express his feelings and without applying sexual pressure. He may not understand your past– few really understand intimate abuse–but he shows you that he honors your experience.
- He is a man of his word. He’s careful about making promises and zealous about keeping them. When he says he will, he does. He shows you over time that he tells the truth and means what he says.
- He doesn’t have to tell you who or what he is, he shows you with the way he lives his life.
- He likes to do things for you because he knows the gift of time and the pleasure of simple things.
To see the author’s original posting, click here.
I guess the main idea of this post is that the best things will happen to you at the most unexpected moment and when they do, grab life by the horns and go after it. I hope he asks me out on a real date soon! 🙂