Archive | December 2013

Toxic People

“Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.” —Daniell Koepke

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Late Thanksgiving Post

As I am growing older, I’m starting to appreciate all the things I once took for granted as a child. I am grateful for life the way it is, nothing more and nothing less. We can always keep wishing for more but if we take the time to think about and appreciate what we already have, we start to realize that things aren’t that bad after all.

Things I am Grateful For (This Thanksgiving):

  • All the things my mother taught me and tried to enforce on me including not limited to learning to do housework, learning to cook traditional dishes, and being hospitable. I’m not saying I’m grateful for the things she taught me because most of them conform to gender roles and thus I now know how to be a good housewife/female. I’m grateful for the things she’s taught me because now in my adult stage of life I don’t have to learn them on my own. I have the experience already of practicing all the things she’s taught me and has pushed me to become better at.
  • Being able to speak in my native tongue and being knowledgeable of my culture & traditions – As I see my own native language and culture being lost around me, it makes me proud to know that I can speak my native tongue and am knowledgeable of my culture.
  • Having younger siblings – I’ve never disliked being the eldest but I do complain from time to time about the pressures of being the eldest and how annoying my younger siblings are. I’m grateful for my younger siblings because they have taught me a lot about caring for others and taking care of children.
  • Having caring people in my life – From family, to friends, to my significant other and his family, I’m surrounded by people who care about me and my well-being. Everywhere I turn, I will be supported and cared about which is not what many people are as fortunate. A challenge I will have to overcome will be to divide my time and attention between all the people in my life and to be more connected with my networks.
  • Working in a supportive and nurturing environment and for just having a job, period! – I just started at a new job roughly two months ago and have just recently started to feel useful and busy at work. Despite not feeling very busy some days and bored on others as I office-sit, I’m very grateful to be working with all the staff in my office – who all happen to be women. My work environment always makes the day fun and fulfilling regardless of whether I was very productive or had a small workload that day. I’m grateful I have a full-time job because many people are unemployed or in jobs that they find very meaningless.
  • Having a car/having my own car – Being able to drive and having my own car really enables me to be independent and to get things that I need done, done. It’s not that I dislike public transit but sometimes it takes forever to get from Point A to Point B and on snowy, winter days like today, it takes twice as long. Having my own car, I don’t have to worry about if someone else needs to use the car or feel guilty about always using the car.