Archive | March 2015

Ramblings on Faith

“Faith is defined as confidence or trust in a being, object, living organism, deity, view, or in the doctrines or teachings of a religion. Faith may also refer to a hope or belief, a rational or irrational, in a certain outcome. Faith refers to a belief as it is not based on proof. The word faith is sometimes used as a synonym for hope, for trust, or for belief.”

Lately, it has been harder to keep my faith alive – faith in humanity, faith in the greater good, faith in a better future for all, faith in relationships, faith in myself and if I am doing the right thing, if I am on the right path. I find myself wanting more out of life, striving more, doing more, yet I find the world is cruel and my efforts seem to have been in vain.

I find I have always taken a more proactive approach to life. Shaping my own life’s path and future and how it will be. I find myself enraged when I encounter those who are passive about what they want and let opportunities pass them by or don’t put their best into their work.Perhaps this is a sense of empowerment… yet I don’t feel very empowered. Is it others passiveness or is it my own that I am enraged by? I know I am not perfect. I have my own faults, my own fears.

“Let your faith be bigger than your fears.”

I have always counted on things turning out for the better and this has been how I have always lived my life. Not having someone I can count on, someone I can trust and relay my hopes and dreams and my fears to, I have always just had faith that what I thought was best would eventually work out in the end. Now I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I am only doing more harm than good to myself. If by having faith in others and by being soft-hearted, if I only leave myself more vulnerable and more exposed and in the end more prone to disappointment and heartache?

我很快就跟他在一起两年了。两年。。。好像没那么长的时间,也就那么长一段时间。我不知道接下来该怎么做。我发现我自己在问自己,“我们真的合适吗?可不可以在一起一辈子?”。他也那么问他自己。他比我还不知道,还糊涂。他说 可能他不会是最好的跟我在一起的男人。我就想,如果你不是最好的但你喜欢一个人,那你就把你自己变成最好的给她。为什么你要觉得你要退路?你那么觉得就告诉 对方你已经放弃了。我不知道接下来该怎么做才是最好的。就看着办吧。