Tag Archive | future

Life

Move Forward

Life likes to tease you, give you hope, bring you down, throw challenges at you, tempt you, give you happiness, open doors, throw roadblocks in your way. It seems like it relentlessly does these things again and again. We just have to learn to move forward, to leave the past behind, to push on, to start anew. Whether we have the courage to or not, whether it’s easy or hard, whether we are ready or not, we must, we must.

At Peace

这几天,我的心好乱。我想了很多,烤炉了很多东西,很多事情。想来想去,我就觉得这是最好的结果。不管以后怎么样,就没关系。我可以接受。好奇怪但现在我的心就安心起来了。以后就等着看吧。

20 Qualities The Person You’re Going to Marry Should Have

*** This is a re-post from Laura Argintar. View the original post on elitedaily here. ***

While we may not know who exactly we are going to marry, as fully developed, young adults, we have a pretty good idea of the qualities we’re looking for in a partner.

This isn’t a little girl’s “Prince Charming” wish list. Think of this, instead, as the list Rihanna’s friends gave to her after she broke up with Chris Brown… for the second time.

Despite this suspicious feeling that writing this list will guarantee my future as a spinster, here are the 20 qualities you should look for in the person you marry:

1. Shares your beliefs

Regardless if you believe in Satan or sprinkles, your partner should have respect for your views. Believing in the same things — like Beyoncé as a religion, or coffee as a morning non-negotiable — brings you two closer.


2. Teaches you something new

Life together will be pretty boring if you can’t learn from each other. It can be a lesson as small as how to bake chocolate chip cookies with Oreos stuffed in the middle (this has actually turned out to be an important life skill), or something more substantial, like how to use chopsticks properly. For me, this means he’s well-versed in politics and will give me the Sparknotes version of White House current events. Let’s also not forget there’s an inherent good feeling when you teach someone a new fact or skill.


3. Trusts you (and is trustworthy him or herself)

If you feel the need to raid your partner’s cell phone, you’re basically displaying your distrust for him or her — what good is a relationship like that? Once you start prying into each other’s phones, all faith goes out the window and every text is grounds for an argument.

Bottom line: If you go digging for sh*t, you’re gonna smell it.


4. Appreciates staying in together

Every couple needs quality time — just make sure your definition of “quality time” is the same as your partner’s. Going out and socializing as a duo is always fun, but it’s equally important that your partner can curl up next to you for an intimate night in. Sometimes, the most magical moments are the ones we take the time to slow down and enjoy with the person who’s right in front of us. No audience necessary.


5. Makes you a better person

You want someone who brings out your best self. A great way tell if you and your partner should tie the knot is by honestly asking yourself, “Does this person make me better?”


6. Entertains inside jokes

No, I’m not talking about how you both love to crack up while watching the “Afternoon Delight” scene in “Anchorman.” I’m talking about the kind of inside joke, where all you have to do is give the other person a certain look and it instantly sends you both into a laughing fit. You are both so on the same page that the joke doesn’t need to be explained; your partner just gets it.


7. Does not place restrictions on you or the relationship

The person you marry shouldn’t give you ultimatums like, “I won’t date you until you get a promotion,” or “If you go out with your friends, I’ll break up with you.” There shouldn’t be rules to your relationship that prohibit you from doing certain things or hold you back from being who you are.

He can’t prevent you from wearing your crop top to the bar (although, it is very flattering when he gets jealous like that). Likewise, she can’t stop you from playing video games before bed (that is, unless she’s not wearing any clothes…).


8. Compromises

Compromise is the key to any successful relationship; we’ve been taught this since kindergarten. Do I love going to Phish concerts and listening to 20-minute guitar riffs? No, but I’ll make it my mission to enjoy myself and do it anyway (for the drugs, mostly). And I’m sure he doesn’t like being dragged to see weird indie films, but I’ll buy the popcorn and soda and toss in a Xanax because I’m nice like that.


9. Respects your family

Notice how I don’t use the word “likes” here; although, that’s always a plus. This also goes for both sets of friends.


10. Satisfies in bed

If you can’t please your partner in bed, chances are, he or she is gonna look for that satisfaction elsewhere. Being satisfied in the sack goes beyond pleasure; it means you two are also sexually comfortable with one another. When it comes to matters in the bedroom, you and your partner should keep an open dialogue.


11. Maintains a healthy relationship with alcohol and socializing

If your partner can’t handle drinking or social situations, then you’ll either: A) Have to accept the role of the occasional babysitter, or B) Pass on it altogether. (Shout out to my future hubby!) Drinking Jameson and crying at the bar afterwards is kind of a deal-breaker — same with getting violent, Chris Brown.


12. Loves your flaws

True confession: I love not wearing pants. If you don’t love that about me, then we probably aren’t meant to be together. The person you marry should, of course, play up your strengths, but also appreciate your imperfections. It might sound trite, but it’s your quirks that make you… You.


13. Gives you well-deserved compliments

So sue us for wanting the person we love to tell us we’re beautiful and perfect and incredible and smart and the best person on the planet?

Seriously, though, you don’t need to shower us in flattery, but when we’ve spent all day researching the perfect lingerie, hearing that we look “sexier than Rihanna in her ‘Pour It Up’ video,” is always well-received.

(Yes, patrons in the comments section, these are my daddy issues talking — you’ve totally figured me out.)


14. Shares the same values

Someone who is materialistic and enjoys splurging on extravagances probably won’t last very long with someone who is down-to-earth and likes to rough it. This is why celebrities marry other celebrities***.

(***The reason they don’t last very long, though, is completely unrelated to this list.)


15. Stays faithful

This seems fairly obvious; although, you’d be surprised at how many people are more and more accepting of the fact that their spouses will cheat at least once in their relationship.

I am not one of those people. Don’t f*cking cheat on me, or I’ll break up with you… And then cut off your balls because I assume you have none in order to do that to a person. (Smiles.)


16. Displays intelligence

Smart people don’t suck. They also offer insightful advice and help you make good choices. Your spouse doesn’t have to be a college graduate. We’re referring to the kind of partner who innately possesses that brand of sage intelligence.


17. Appeases your attraction (whatever that means to you)

Because you’re going to be spending the better part of your life with this person, it’s mildly crucial that you also feel connected to him or her. I happen to be fond of older, hairy men. And I’m pretty sure that sounds attractive to no one but myself.


18. Partakes in various hobbies

They don’t have to be the same hobbies as yours (see #8 ‘Compromises’), so long as your partner has other ways of fulfilling him or herself, aside from banging you and then cuddling on repeat. Whether that means frequenting museums or watching viral videos, your partner should have other interests outside of your relationship.

Bonus points if by “hobby,” you also mean “grubbing.”


19. Shares in your vision for the future

Hopefully you’re both in it.


20. Delivers unconditional love

Unconditional love is kind of like the Olive Garden: When you’re there, you’re family.

In The Making

Girl-in-Progress-poster

There are many exciting things going on at the moment… or perhaps saying “in the making” would be a better description. I recently transitioned out of my AmeriCorps position into a real, full-time position at a higher education institution. It’s very different – a new environment and a new system to adjust to. In a way, it is exciting because there is this thrill of learning new things and meeting new people but at the same time there is the apprehension of going through something different and new. I am slowly starting to meet more staff and students and hopefully next week after things are set up, I will be able to introduce myself to the departments that I will be working closely with. I have already run into a few students that I know from my AmeriCorps position and it has been exciting.

Something else that is “in the making” are that my future plans are starting to develop and take more shape and form! One of the perks of working at a higher education institution is that you are able to take classes for free or for a reduced cost. It works out well for me that this institution offers graduate programs and even though I won’t be eligible for at least another year, I have already started looking at possible programs, degrees, and certificates and planning out different options.

Another thing in regards to future plans taking shape and form, is that I will be able to start investing in a retirement plan. This, also won’t go into effect until a year after my initial employment, but it is something to look forward to being able to do.

My last “in the making” is my recent membership in an advisory council. This council will be addressing disparity issues that affect communities of color in the state and will be presenting solutions to the legislature in less than 6 months. This is my first time doing anything of this sort but I’m very excited to be able to be a part of this council with so many other great minds and passionate individuals. Just a few days ago I received my official “welcome” letter in the mail a few days ago with details about the group’s first meeting.

I anticipate this next year to be very busy but also full of many new opportunities to network and grow. It is exciting to have my life so full and I feel very blessed to be able to be a part of so many wonderful things. I feel confident that my life’s course will start to take more direction and form this year and in the next few years to come.

Where To Go From Here?

As I wrap up my second year of service, I ask myself, “Where do I go from here? What else is next?” Each day my work space becomes more and more bare, my mind more and more blank. I am so zoned out right now, so ready for the next thing, the next adventure of my life. Only one more month left, so long yet to go but still so soon.

I worry and wonder about the next path that I will go on and how to get there. The job hunting hat goes on, the resumes are polished, the cover letters are edited. I look at job positions and wonder if that is the direction I want to go in and what I’m going to do with myself. Sigh. Lots of job applications will be going out this month.